Hopeless Heart

 

Read you like a book, that’s intuition.

Pages flipping in the wind of a truth

I pretend I can’t hear.

I deny that side of me,

again and again,

just to feel something

other than the echo of my own heartbeat

asking why I keep running from myself.

Afraid that surrender

means loneliness,

that if I fall open,

I’ll fall alone.

Love treats me like a stranger

walking home in the rain 

passing me by,

Never slowing down enough

to see me shivering.

But still,

I hold no hate.

There’s no room for it.

My chest is  rented out to hope and foolish faith

maybe  loving like I’ve never been hurt

will someday mean being held like I’d never been dropped.

Still pain fuels me,

but it will never define me.

I let it burn just enough

to remind me

I’m still here,

still breathing,

still daring to feel

in a world that tries to keep me numb 

So here I am 

Arms open wide with open wounds,

And an open heart.

Reading life like a book 

I refuse to close

Loving like the ending 

might finally be mine.