A Complete Transformation

Nothing beats a day at the beach for getting closer to nature and if you're spending summer in Jamaica, it’s the kind of day you want to repeat. But for me; water bodies; like a full moon, inspire and provide a sense of transparency.

My imagination transported me beyond the ocean’s edge, placing me in a world on the borders of fear and constraint. I sat in solitude, bolted shut in my thoughts. And all of that is what brought me here, with you, to share and to inspire.

Let’s just say the heat isn’t the only reason I’ve been having sleepless nights.
And I won’t blame my new little furry companion, who I'm ashamed to confess worries me (though not as much as the prospect of this new adventure does).

My truth:
I am not even close to where I want to be in life.
But I’ve discovered who I am.
I’m much clearer about what I want now than I was five years ago.

So here we go:
Hello, my name is TKEpiphany, and I am a Creative.

And yes, you’ve probably rolled your eyes and hissed, “Great, another one.” I'll smile and confidently confirm: Yep. Another one.

By day, I purposefully paint my face and put on my business attire.
I play the characters of “She’s got it figured out” and “This is who I’m out to be.”
Eight hours, sometimes fifteen and still nothing.
Still not enough.
Still screaming.
Still too loud.
Turn down the volume on the seething realities I’m trying to conceal.

Who am I, really?
I think maybe I should grow bald. Get a piercing or six. A couple of tattoos. Add some color.
Maybe if I just say this or look that way, it will make sense. No... it won’t work. But maybe if I do it this way; Deep breaths in. Never breathing out.
Sigh.

Exhausted?
This is the state of my thoughts. This is my reality. A full, incomplete attempt to compete when I should simply be pleased with me.

Our paths are so different. And did I mention? I give the best advice. Yes, I’m still working on swallowing the tablet.

GULP.

I’m trying to find the right words to describe my current state, right now, this minute; in the hopes of painting a picture of this Epiphany.

This object has been magnified. This concentration. The moment when you realize; you are sufficient.

You are the magic.

You’ve spent so much time in anguish, trying to finish the puzzle, searching for a missing piece...
But there is no missing piece. You are the greater picture. You are complete.

Complete in your journey, in your timing, in your becoming. What happened to this phrase? This entire sentence? It came from me, from within, from my own mind and heart. My personal affirmations?

Why?

Because I am totally Dope. Like that dope painter on IG, or that fashionista, poet, or singer. Dope.

We all are. I’m smiling now, relieved that I’ve finally emancipated myself. Okay, bye for now.

I’m back on the wooden bench which is too hard for comfort but the salty aroma of the shore and the crisp sand that’s made its bed, sheltering roaring winds?

It’s my favorite pastime and nd I’m here, for a ReBirth.